I speak off the top of my head...99.9 % of the time

I sometimes wish people could be in my brain so they can see things how i see them..or even understand my point of view *shrugs* well i guess that cant happen..so i really have to explain myself and sometimes people just DON'T get me. I mean I'm not really hard to read ( even though many people say i am]. To get me is to understand me..well anywayss I've been kind of Depressed ( i dont want to say depressed but kind of down] I really feel like i have bad luck. like WTF!..smh so many things can make me happy im not just trying to put in the effort..I feel its a waste of time.. actually I feel alot of shit is a waste of time.POINTLESS!!. because at the END of the day..most likely nothing happens..i actually found happiness in someone just not ready to start a relationship even though i want && need that comfort..I need to find out what love is && what it can be.