"So she’s the girl with her middle finger in the air; because for the first time; she just doesn’t care. Tough times do not last, but tough people do. Fuck your past - don’t let it fuck you. No room for sadness or regrets, the past is gone."

a sad state of mind.

i always think there's still hope for some odd reason..I need to cut that shit out because It will NEVER be an US again..i just think hay maybe where just exploring options.but I guess not "/..heyyy oh welll..

Supra Skytop II “Goldie”

To join the inaugural colorway of the Supra Skytop II, Supra quietly rolled out this Gold/Black colorway of the infamous game-changing high-top. The shoe includes a metallic leather upper, patent highlights in black and a big tongue marked by cut-outs. The 413 Factory exclusive is currently sold-out and no word if it’ll make a retail return.

mayybeeee?

maybe we sometimes dislike eachother because we still care && have some type of love for eachother..&& seeing certain things gets us mad.that we only said to eachother."/

I try && its like whatever Tamika

so its like an unknown tension..for what?
What we hate eachother for what?
we both hurt eachother in ways we shouldn't have but we did..like get over it && get pass it..I dont see why you had to hate me.for things you thought i said..so now its like this unknown feeling I'm having.I WIll get past it no matter what..I know for a fact I'm A great person && you didnt meet this tamika (the one everyone first meet]..but I'm off that now..Its life you cant always please people.you cant have everyone as a friend..so i wont try..if having you as a friend is important to me but you feel otherwise then heyy soo be itt..on to something else..Im thinking about maing a change.meaning cutting my hair && putting some redd in my hairr.like whateva..I will always looks my best..

wtf is wrong with me?..random post

Sundayyy ahhhhh..always an emotional day for me..idk shit kills me though..kev came to my gma house just to eat lol..ohh well..I took a nap.had a dream that just blew mines..basically it made me think about my past && made me feel bad like i cause tension && shit.soo when i woke upp i told the dude to leave..um idkk why "/..its a bad move i guess..i cant && wont push him away..he's to much of a good guy..maybe i need to let go of someone && leave it as it is."/.i mean if we dont know how to be eachother friends then why try?.

Find Yourself!!!!

I think people just can't think for themselves anymore. They watch people they idolize on tv and maybe think to themselves if im just like that person maybe people will like me more. Honestly I can't exactly pin-point a reason why people change the person they are to be someone else. This brings me to my favorite quote...

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not. -Kurt Cobain

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.-Kurt Cobain

The worst crime is faking it. -Kurt Cobain

If people just realized that the person they are is uniqe than maybe someone will step back and think that they are different but it is nothing back and they can go on being their true self.

NEVERR!! will i ever LOVE again.

And you ask me what is love to me?
people usally say it's cuddleing and kissing
and loving n caring
what about the pain the hurt
the yelling and screaming
The late night phone calls with i miss u'z
ya sure there is good n bad to love
but what happens when u never get to say good bye
what happens when u love some one so much and u never get the chance to tell them how u feel
love is more than the late night phone calls
the times u spend at the mall
it's more than holding hands
it's what is in your heart
it's how u truely honestly feel
love is when the world stops spinning and the sky is no longer blue
the clouds are never gray and it never rains
love is scarey but it's also a wonderful thing
I just wish i wasn't so afraid of love.

Its Just emotions taking me over.

Emotions - Destinys Child


Ugh back in this state of mind..its like when i take a step forward i see or hear something that takes me two steps back . everyone thats knows me Know I cant be somewhere if my heart && mind isnt there..I have to give someone my WHOLE!!. For some odd reason i feel like I owe someone something ( idk why]. Like If i feel if I do something I will hurt Them "/. But life goes on && destiny dont want it. It wont happen..i see it as a love hate thing..shouldn't be like that but it is.No oNe can change that..only the people that cause the tension..yesterday i know ppl peeped my attitude..&& thats because duh I had one..people say things that have NO RELATION to do with a topic..like shuttup &&& stop trying to be heard ( its best to stay quite at times].I really cant someone but honestly I am Developing hate for certain people && do trust there going to hear about it.. on another note.. my poetry book is flowingg like I will need a new one maybe in a few days..I want to post some of my poems but most are like. suicidal, misery, love, friends, relationships im not quite ready to open up that much..im basically hollow now "/..ehh wateva..

Thanksgiving!!!!

So today i had a GREAT DAY..it isnt over yet though lol.Right now Im at my bff house Samantha ( Driking.Smoking]. This morning was Great was with Kevin had thanksgiving breakfast was Great..His mom LOVES me..( i think she loves me more than she loves him lol j/k] She introduced as her " Daughter In-Law" (idk about that yet lol]. other than that had a Great morning..Samantha Family is soo cool.heyy..food was Greatt wooo on deckk..I couldnt let my night get ruined but people negative attitudes..

As Thanksgiving Day approaches,
Our blessings we recall;
The things we are most thankful for,
We recollect them all.

I speak off the top of my head...99.9 % of the time

I sometimes wish people could be in my brain so they can see things how i see them..or even understand my point of view *shrugs* well i guess that cant happen..so i really have to explain myself and sometimes people just DON'T get me. I mean I'm not really hard to read ( even though many people say i am]. To get me is to understand me..well anywayss I've been kind of Depressed ( i dont want to say depressed but kind of down] I really feel like i have bad luck. like WTF!..smh so many things can make me happy im not just trying to put in the effort..I feel its a waste of time.. actually I feel alot of shit is a waste of time.POINTLESS!!. because at the END of the day..most likely nothing happens..i actually found happiness in someone just not ready to start a relationship even though i want && need that comfort..I need to find out what love is && what it can be.

I know we have already split
Gone our separate ways indeed
Hurtful words have been said I admit
But it doesn’t mean love is dead and buried.

We have gone through so much with grit
The love for you my heart can’t be emptied
Why did I agree that we shall quit
When for our future I silently plead.

Now when all alone I sit
My feelings for you grow rather than recede
If only you can find it in your heart to permit
To continue where we left off and make it succeed.

What Doesnt Kill you make you Stronger.

She sits there in the silence,
Yet the noise in her head is so loud,
The anger and frustration she is longing to get out,
She has unanswered questions,
A lot of things she'd like to know,
But someone left her hanging there,
With nowhere else to go,
Limbo is a nasty place,
You have to take control,
And summon all your inner strength,
Don't ever just let go,
You turn the pain into a strength,
Take it everywhere you go,
But use it to your advantage,
So no one ever knows,
How empty that you feel inside,
The darkness in your heart,
The loneliness you long to leave,
Back there so far behind,
Yet you wear a smile on your face,
Never let them see the tears,
But in her eyes you see her dying,
Trying hard to keep afloat,
In the sea of sorrow she is drowning in,
Until a lifeline is thrown,
Her friends all gather round her,
To help her make it through the day,
If only she could turn it round,
She would start another day,
A deep breath in,
A long hard sigh,
She watches the hours flying by,
A friendly smile the squeeze of a hand,
They are all there behind her,
If she should fall,
But she is stronger than she thinks,
The time will make it easier,
To just get through the day,
And sooner than she thinks,
The pain will fade away,
Til she is right back up there,
Head and shoulders above the rest,
Then she will simply stand and shout,
I'm here world I did my best,
I survived the dark and painful days,
And the emptiness i felt,
But what's doesn't kill you makes you stronger,
Now I'm that without a doubt.

love without sex and sex without love

Sex without love is obviously
having sex with someone you dont
love. In fact, you probably have
sex with just about anyone. You
feel as if you have to do it.
You crave sex. Its all you
think about. When you are having
sex, you enjoy it but when you not
doing it, you just want to
rip out all of your hair. Every
where you go, you just gotta have
it. Sex is your life.

Love without sex is having a
relationship without sex. You
love this person to the fullest
but refuse to have sex with
them for some reason.But what
if yall never share yall love
for each other. What couple doesnt
have sex just for fun?
Mystery Question! But why
must we have a love without sex relationship?
Ah yes, another mystery question.

Thoughts

Suicide is on my mind
Blood flows down out of my body
Pain is all that I want to feel
My life is over and nothing is real Self-mutilation is apart of my
My mind is racing my blood
Tonight will be the end of me
To bad my life is already over

Suicidal thoughts are on my mind
My life is going to be left behind
My soul is already home
Where im all alone
Suicidal thoughts

Today all I want is the pain
Today give me sunshine not rain
I cry myself to sleep
I know he doesn't want me
But when I die I won't have to care
He won't be in my dreams or nightmares anymore

All I need is to see your face again
All I need is to hear your voice again
All I want is to hear you say your sorry
I'm tierd of my life someone please hand me the knie

My suicidal thoughts
My heart is in knots my suicidal thoughts

Air Jordan XII (12) Retro Black/Red “Flu Game”

No signature line of sneakers has bore the same level of cultural intersection as the Air Jordan. Bringing together sneaker and sport culture as one, the Air Jordan has often seen itself the benefactor of various nicknames based on some MJ’s most dominant performances. The Air Jordan Retro XII (12) in black and red earns its “Flu Game” moniker thanks to MJ’s inspirational NBA playoff performance in 1997 against the Jazz as he dropped 38 points under less than ideal circumstances battling the flu. The retro carries the same familiar color-blocking that made the shoe such a stand-out of the era alongside some tributes to MJ’s 38 point feat such as the touches on the heel and tongue.

A Bathing Ape Pirate Collection – New Releases

The A Bathing Ape Pirate initiative has started to ramp up as of late with A Bathing Ape looking to hit various different aesthetics and markets. From their URSUS collection to their outlet-style Pirate collection, the brand has looked to capitalize on the pirate theme with its own range seen here. The graphic-dominant collection includes t-shirts and crewnecks and is available through Anytime.

Remember old Tamika??

yeah well as many people know now I'm Really back to my old self ( Smoking, Drinking Alot , Partying Heavy, && Really Not caring]..I liked myself way better when I was like that for the fact I was more of a "Free- Spirit" and hardly cared about anything ( Not saying its a good thing not to care] But I Dont!!..If I consider you my friend please let it stay that way. && if you aren't I advice you to just LEAVEE!!

&& I'm Backkkkk

I Know I deleted my blog before but thats only because a specific reason but anyway Im back..I think I'll delete twitter..Social Networks are really annoying me..My blog site would basically be the only way to connect to me.