Life is a tangle of
twisting paths.
Some short.
Some long.
There are dead ends.
And there are choices.
And wrong turns,
and detours,
and yield signs,
and instruction booklets,
and star maps,
and happiness,
and loneliness.
And friends.
And sisters.
And love.
And poetry.

Life is a maze.
You are a maze.
Amazed.
And amazing.

There is something deep inside of me that screams out for you,
Your name,
Your Trust,
Your Touch,
Your Kiss,
Every moment we spent,
I don't want to live another day without you,
I don't want to sleep,
I don't want to dream about you,
I hate it how it makes me feel,
I miss waking next to you,
Waking next to you made me felt safe,
Deep inside of me,
Made me want to kiss you again,
You took away my pain,
My sadness,
I hate it when I think about you,
The time we spent together,
Was never forgotten,
Deep inside of me is dying,
I can't believe it hurts this much,
Why can't I let you go,
Deep inside of me is fading,
Waiting for you,
Slowly I am losing you by every mintue,
Never knew it will hurt me this much,
Sadly we fade away.

I dont know What I want or need.

I've dreamed about a man who possessed...
A mind that when unleashed brought a whole new
world to me.
Eyes that possessed every thought, emotion,
aspiration, and past experiences.
A smile that could scare away those negative
thoughts & happenings to brighten up my day.
Ears that would listen to my problems and every
thoughts, without drowning me out.
A nose to smell things when I cannot because of
being stuffy.
Lips that when pressed against my own would send a
warm sensation to my heart.
A mouth that would speak, what was on his mind
and heart so it would unleash into the world.
Shoulders to cry on when things got to that point.
Strong arms that could embrace me so tight to
comfort me, show love and shield me from harm.
Hands to hold tightly to have a reminder that he is
there.

I've dreamed he had...
An unbound curiosity, always searching for
knowledge allowing his mind to expand to new
horizons.
A trust that could never be broken or doubted.
Support for my aspirations and I would lend mine.
A respect for my hopes, dreams, feelings and
decisions as his own.
An understanding of who I am and who I hope to be.
A dream to go far in this world and knowledge to
where he wants to be.
A personality that attracts and captures people's
attention no matter where he goes.
Wisdom to know what's right and what's wrong and
when each is appropriate.
A sense of humor that has people rolling on the floor
laughing.
A creative intellect to produce ideas never thought
before and to improve on others.
Romance to show he really cares.
A heart that is open for new experiences and views,
as well as for the emotions to come.
Kindness to all people, to not be selfish and to give
more than he receives.
A love not only for those close to him but for others
as well and most of all himself.

I've dreamed all this and more in a man.
People may say it's too much to dream for, therefore it
would always be a dream.
They're wrong, it's not a dream to me, at least not
anymore.
I've found all these qualities in you and so much more,
you're more than I could have ever dreamed of
finding or being with.
I love you for everything that makes you who you are
today.

Red Rape

If rape was a color it would be red
the definition of rape an red
aren’t the same, doesn’t matter to me
I told you to stop
I told you no
It doesn’t matter what I say
nothing is the same
even thought I didn’t know anything
I knew it wasn’t right
you can’t hold me down no more
no matter what you say
I know my rights from wrongs
times have changed
I’m no kid no more
No more blood
but still so much tears
I’ll never do what you did to me
just wait an see
the damage has been done
who said abuse breeds abuse
I’ll break the chain
I could never hurt a soul
if red was a color I’d be rape

Kevin Drummond!

As many people think kevin is my "boyfriend" Um yeah he isnt..he gets kind of aggy When I say that.But Its True.idk whats not letting me be with him..he is Fucking Great!!..like the bestt..we dont fuss && fight..we just laugh,smoke,&& crack jokess,cuddle,make food (I tried teaching him how to cook lol didnt workk] all dayy longg..When we speak it's non stopp..like wow..really like Lovers&& Friends..I confine in him for alot of things.We know so much about each other.. Just the fact I dont want want a Bf yet..Im enjoying my time Being Single, cause I know we start dating I doubt they'll be any break-ups..&& maybe a long relationship I need to get mentally ready for all that..He makes me feel like the BEST girl ever on earth!. I know I will fall for him no doubt about that..I wanna feel REAL LOVE..I spend like Everyday with that kidd..&& all my nights..he calls me Mrs.Drummond..Spent my thanksgiving with him && my first Christmas I'll be spending with a guy.<3

You know what I think hurts the most? The feeling of being replaced. It’s like no matter what you did, it wasn’t enough. And no matter what you do to try and capture their heart again, doesn’t seem to work. And you’re suddenly left thinking that you’ll never be enough. And a sudden sadness captures your heart that never really leaves.
— JoAnne Golden

I LOOVEEEE make-uppp

these really caught my eye..I hope to be doing this type of art in the future!

If I could Be There Now

I lay outside looking at the dots of ember and lights in the dark velvet sky.
The air is crisp and the wind is soft.
The moon is big and round, and the dim light glows over my head,
onto a path which I have stumbled and fall.
We are alone, but we seek for our other half.
Our heart is weak, tainted and sore,
but together with our other our hearts are strong and become invisible.
We shall walk the path together and we shall not fall.
So let the velvet sky with the embers of light and the moon be cover by the clouds,
and let the wind blow hard and make it hard for us to breath.
For that we are together, one and all

My Fight With Me

I’ve reached my breaking point
I can’t stop
Can’t fall lower - so far
From the top
Can’t do this on my own
Will you please…

Stop my fist before it
Hits the wall
Catch my tears before they
Even fall
Be there and stand by me
Through it all
Maybe then I’d stop my
Fight with me

All these feelings inside
Confusion
Nothing comes out right when
I explain
I’m gonna give it up
Help me please…

Stop my fist before it
Hits the wall
Catch my tears before they
Even fall
Be there and stand by me
Through it all
Maybe then I’d stop my
Fight with me

Today I want to die
End it all
Would you please, could you please,
Please, please, please…

Stop my fist before it
Hits the wall
Catch my tears before they
Even fall
Be there and stand by me
Through it all
Maybe then I’d stop my
Fight with me.

I Wish

Your lips meet mine
Your hand brushes my shoulder
Slipping down to my back
A shudder runs through my body
I press against you, my hands finding your shirt-tail
I tug it off, tracing the muscles with my fingertips
You moan, the kiss becomes deeper - passionate
You break the kiss, moving to my neck
Sucking gently, slowly working down
Your lips meet my chest, a rush of air
Its my turn to moan, pushing closer to you
We kiss wildly, passionately
I love you, want you, need you and you - me
. . . I wish

Kid Cudi x A Bathing Ape Part 2

I never got the firstt cudi bape tee..you know why??...shit was soldd outt!! but this one im deff gettinn fuck that..even iff i have to wait on line for hoursss!!!

Its been a while!

I havent updated in a minute. Everything's been great with me..No Drama meeting new people!!. i have nothing to sayy really but yesterday i ran across a quote "If ex's cant remain friends, either there still in love or never was" this sayy soo much too mee..

686 x New Balance “Super Nova” MT580

A partnership that has developed into a series of full fledged releases continues with the “Super Nova” Collection by New Balance and prominent snowboarding brand 686. Aside from the jacket, fitted, and snowboarding boots made for the lineup, 686 produced 20 pairs of these Super Nova kicks, featuring an orange leather upper with nylon panels and royal blue speckled highlights. As of now it seems like these won’t be seeing an official release.

My Past && I cant look back

okay i dont really like talking about my whole phase i went threw people would say "emo" umm idkk about that cause i was just depressed && really didnt know what my purpose was && also alot of things were goin on with me =[..I use to be a "Cutter" my left arm is cut upp soo is my left leggg and a lil on my stomachh..i really do wanna pic upp butt i cant find themm..umm i use to have like a lil case that i still have ( contains band-aids, a sock that I wiped my blood up with..its looks horrible, multiple razors, and also a lil book i wrote why i cut that day]. && i wore a black band over my hand EVERYDAYYYYY!!!..the wounds were bad =[.

December ,9, 2009

im doing this on actually on the 10th because I was occupied <3. But every time the 9th come around i usually fall back into my whole ohh " i want you back" phase BLAHHHH!! wasnt like that yesterday I was actually happy && with kevin ( ahh that dude really have a hold on me]. Im not gonna lie I wanted to txt that kid but i didnt. Its like obviously he doesnt care soo blahh wateva Im WAYYY TOTALLY OVERR IITTT. on the other hadd me and kevin were together && ended up watching "the lake house" Great love movie.. makes me feel "Love is a powerful thing" I feel asleep in his arms then went home around 12..we live right up the block from eachother.

Flaws && All.

I am

I love music but certain song's gives me strength and pull me threw things such as this.. Mary J Blige - I AM

This song explains alot. i love it so much

This songs is like the soundtrack to everything I LOVE IT SOO MUCHH

GIIIAAAAAA!!

i love herr..sweetest person everrr <3..our friendship will lastt && we stay smoking lol ayee!

Let's Just Say Re-Captured!

Lets just say Im kinda moved on && maybe over my Ex ( but then I could be lying to myself "/ ]. He wants me to forget him so thats what I'm Trying to do.. Now I'm Realizing maybe If I pay attention to someone else it would make it easier for me..umm idk..But his name is Kevin..meet him in the summer.he's SUPER cool.Educated && soo laid back ( a breath of fresh air]..meet his mom.sister.&& dad..they all love me yay =]..It's complicated between us because its like I cant let go && he want me to soo badd..my mind body && spirit need to be with him. but it isnt maybe only my body..I really care about him && he makes me feel more than the person I am..( && i love it thats what I need]. Lets just say im Re-Captured!! I love the feeling i get when he's around never a dull moment he makes me feel like a lil kid but yet grown..ahhh this is looking gooddd!!! <3

&& i came to my conclusion

I knew someday it would have to end
I knew eventually I would have to go back to calling you friend
It's killing me that now that day has come
If it's for the best then where is this pain from
I know deep inside that this is what I had to do
but it's breaking my heart to walk away from you
I'm trying my best to appear strong
but it's hard when part of me says that in your arms is where I belong
I still love you with all my heart
that's not going to change even though we're apart
You were my first love and my first kiss

There are so many of our special times I'm going to miss
All the words I ever said or wrote still hold true
But for now from a distance is where I'll be loving you
I think you need me as a friend to help you through
because there are things I can't control that are hurting you
We both have issues no one knows of
neither of us had the strength to be true to our love
Maybe we will be together again if it was meant to be
but for now please don't stop loving me
Even though I'm not your girlfriend I'll still be here
With a shoulder to cry on or a sympathetic ear
The story of love can be quicker than the blink of an eye
But our story of won't be over until the day that we die
Until We Meet Again

At the moment =[

people this is a VERY MEANINGFUL..HEART TO HEART post..NO LIES would be told.holding NOTHING back..actually Im in tears at this point Writing this. ( I'm a VERY emotional person.I might be Tough but I'm a softy Inside]..I really do MISS someone soooo muchhh..i know its hard for me to show it but I really do..I know I show my IDGAF attitude when I really doo..&& I really care about this dude.( I really do ]. IF only there was something else there..IF only He saw something else there. IF ONLY!!.for like the past couple of days maybe even the past week I had an urge for what reason IDK..shit just came back out of nowhere 0_o.I dont want to get too in depth. I dont wanna feel more worse than i already do "/.i'll just leave it at that.